Strange, Unexpected and Completely Forbidden
by LoraLogue
Summary: Confronting your demons is the only way to move forward. Aayla thought she could escape her fears by hiding them from the Jedi, but no secret can ever remain hidden forever...
1. Prologue

**This is the revised version of the Prologue which was uploaded earlier in the year. **

**This story is a crossover between Star Wars and Harry Potter. BUT this story is broken up into many parts (probably 8 or so, all uploaded as separate stories) and this section is really just Star Wars with a very slight Harry Potter reference so if you only want to read the Star Wars bit, it still works on its own as this is the first.**

**Anyway, here's a little taste-test. The actual chapters will be longer than this.**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own Star Wars *boohoo***

_Prologue_

_Maridun: late 22 BBY_

Ahsoka walked through the camp. Her master was well on his way to recovery thanks to the native Lurmen healer Wag Too and for once, everything was quiet. But of course, somebody had to ruin the silence - two people speaking in hushed voices in her master's tent. It was so typical of Anakin to ruin the one peaceful moment she'd had since being thrown into this war, not even a year ago.

She crept towards the tent. It sounded like he was speaking with Aayla Secura, but his whispers were uneasy. She could sense he was in pain; and not just his physical wounds from the explosion. There was also a feeling of disbelief and… fear. Her master was the 'Hero With No Fear' and yet, he was afraid.

Ahsoka strained to hear exactly what they were saying, and immediately regretted it. This certainly wasn't what she had been expecting to hear. Maybe some gossip from the temple, or a new mission. Perhaps nobody was coming for them and they would be stuck on this planet forever. She would've taken any of that over this. Anything but this…

**Thanks to my sister for being my plot consultant, Jane for editing the original version, and AJ for editing this revised version.**

**If you liked this or you want to give contructive criticism, reviews are always greatly appreciated.  
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	2. Acceptance and Anger

**Hi Everyone, or one in this case... most probably, hopefully not but still. Sorry for such a big wait. I wrote this about two weeks ago BUT my friends who are editing took about a year to do it PLUS because I kept bugging them so much we had a bet that I couldn't go an entire day without talking about Star Wars and FanFiction. I won but I couldn't ask them about stuff so that's my very very feeble excuse. BTW it's not until I was reading my ONE REVIEW (I feel hurt, and I know there's two but the one from Wizzie doesn't count. She's my partial editor and no that does not mean her guess is most definately correct. If you want to know, keep reading) I realised that I haven't actually revealed the secret in this chapter! Yes, cry all you like you're just going to have to wait. Read this though! It's suspensefulfulish or whatever and yeah. Kind of leads up to THE SECRET! OMG BBQ! (yes I just wrote oh my god barbeque. get over it) well I guess that's about enough rambling! On with CHAPTER ONE! yAAy!**

_Chapter 1: Acceptance and Anger_

_Maridun 22 BBY_

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Jedi General Aayla Secura sat staring at the floor. She knew she had to tell Anakin the truth, but when she did, the look on his face pained her. She had expected him to be surprised, or even angry. A Jedi shouldn't feel anger, but if he did she would've understood.

Now, as she sat on the floor of his tent, she felt guilty. Had she taken advantage of him keeping a secret like this? _Of course not,_ she decided. The decision she made was for the best. It was the only way, wasn't it? _"No,"_ said a small voice in the back of her head, _"you could've told him." _This couldn't be happening. She couldn't regret the choice she'd made. It was in the past. She had no way of going back and changing what had happened.

Aayla took her eyes off the ground and looked at Anakin. How could something so simple be so hard? He was sitting - stone faced, emotionless, looking at the wall to his left. He ignored her as she moved across the room to sit next to him.

Aayla had always been brave, how could she fail now? She was fearless as she ran to the battle of Geonosis, outnumbered by thousands. 178 Jedi had died by the time Yoda arrived and still she would rather be there. To be among the fighting, among deafening sounds where you can't think about anything other than the battle.

"Anakin?" she whispered, almost afraid to speak. But her voice was too frail, he didn't hear her. "Ani?" she asked again. He still didn't turn around but the shields protecting his mind faltered slightly. At least he was listening. "Anakin, plea-"

"No," he cut her off. Anakin seemed equally as afraid as Aayla, possibly more.

"What?" she asked. How could he not accept this, did he think if he ignored the truth it would go away?

"No." he repeated.

"Yes, I heard you the first time" Aayla replied. "But why, Anakin? What is 'no' supposed to mean?"

"You're lying," he said, so quietly she could hardly hear. "You have to be. I- you- it just- no. No, it's not happening. You can't be telling the truth this is ridiculous, it's stupid, it's… it's…" he trailed off and turned to look at her, hoping to find the answer hidden somewhere in her eyes but no. She was guarded, revealing nothing.

"Anakin, this is the truth. If you choose to ignore it then fine. I just…"

"You just what?" he began, his voice becoming louder.

"I thought you deserved to know." Aayla bit her lip and tried to hold back the tears. Now wasn't the time. She'd already cried over this matter. She'd accepted this a long time ago, released her feelings into the force. But suddenly they all flooded back to her. When she decided to leave the temple, the despair she felt as she banished herself. Punishing herself by going back to _that_ place. The planet she used to call home. It was really just an over-embellished prison. Aayla was meant to be a slave, she deserved to be a slave. She hated herself for what she had done. She had spent a long time after that wallowing in her own grief and misery. Even when she returned to the temple, she couldn't help but feel this way. Even though she was a Jedi, she was still a humanoid.

As the first tear escaped Aayla's hazel eyes she stood up and turned to walk away, but Anakin was faster. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. His eyes flashed with hurt, anger, hatred; and hers with fear.

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**So what do you think? Huh, huh? Please Reply! And because I love you all dearly I'm writing the next chapter... NOW. But if you want to read it I'm going to need at least 3 replies. Low standard but I just want a few guesses to see what you guys think. Don't feel stupid because the real secret will probably be 10 times more out there.**

**I would just like to thank WizzieWoo and revan blackheart for replying, Jane for editing and Fifi and Bicycle for putting up with my incesent ranting (and for actually reading my story)**

**xxToylet  
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	3. The Truth

**Okay, finally. Sorry this took 9 million years but I had to stop writing so I could write something else... I know, weird but still. Anyway, here it is, hopefully without random bouts of being out of character but hey, if there is, my story. I've also gotten a few questions of "who's with who?" type thing and the answer is: AaylaxKit (I think I said that in th prologue but oh well); AhsokaxNobody... but she has a bit of a crush on Anakin, or she might if I can be bothered to write it into the story BUT if I do, nothing will come of it; and of course Anakinx...umm...Padme...I guess. Whatever, this story is more Aayla than Anakin so yeah. There will be a bit of AaylaxAnakin (or... Aaylakin! Hehe...hehe...hehe...okay no) in future chapters (I would say from about chapter 5-7 possibly, this being 2) but I haven't planned THAT far ahead so yeah. Umm... that's about it so read now or forever hold your peace!  
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**Disclaimer: (whoops, forgot this last time) I do not own any of this, it is all George Lucas's except for well... just read  
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_Chapter 2: The Truth_

_Maridun 22 BBY_

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"You think I deserve to know," Anakin spat. "I have a four-year-old child AND NOBODY EVER TOLD ME?!"

Then they heard footsteps running away from the tent. "Great," Aayla said quietly. "Now you've done it.

Ahsoka ran back to her tent. She threw herself onto the makeshift bed and began sobbing uncontrollably. How could Anakin do this to her? He was supposed to be her master, to teach her how to be a good Jedi. It was all a lie. This heroic person that he claimed to be (maybe?), it was just a mask to hide what lay within. A weak, shrivelled up excuse for a person; she could never trust him again. Of course, she wouldn't have to. As soon as the council found out, he'd be sent off packing immediately. He should've just left years ago to save himself the embarrassment.

Aayla walked in to find Ahsoka, face down, crying into a pillow. She sat down next to her and put her hand comfortingly on the young girl's shoulder. "Why did he do it?" Ahsoka asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Why did he just break the code like that?" Aayla sighed. She felt a strong maternal instinct take over her. She wanted to hold Ahsoka in her arms as a mother would. She wanted to protect her from any dangers, physical or emotional, including all these years of deceit and lies that had just blown up in everyone's faces. Unfortunately for her, the padawan wasn't about to let it go that easily. "He's betrayed everyone. The Jedi, his friends, his fans, me…" She sat up and put her head in her hands. "Urgh, I feel like such an idiot! I trusted him!"

"Ahsoka, please don't blame your master for the mistakes he had made."

"Don't blame him? But it's all his fault!" Ahsoka cried

"Padawan, you cannot see the entire picture here."

"Then enlighten me, oh wise Jedi knight," she said sarcastically. "Why did Anakin keep a secret like this?"

"You are upset. You're not thinking clearly. Get some rest and maybe I could explain in the morning," Aayla stalled.

"NO!" Ahsoka screamed, choking on her tears. "I want answers and I want them now, even if I have to go ask Anakin." She began to leave the tent, but Aayla held her back.

"Don't disturb him," she said. "He knows little more than you do."

"It's his kid, how could he know less than me?" She tried to leave again but Aayla wouldn't let her.

She took a deep breath. "Because I never told him I was pregnant."

There was a tense silence as Ahsoka stared at her blankly. "You?" she said in disbelief. "You… and my _master_? No, that can't be right."

"I'm sorry."

Ahsoka was still shocked. As she sorted through all the emotions flying through her mind she made a disgusted face and said "Eww… bad mental image!"

Aayla laughed. "You know you're exactly how I always imagined her." She said.

"Imagined who?" Ahsoka asked.

"Lily."

"Is that your kid?"

"Yes."

"Then how come you only 'imagined' her" Ahsoka continued to question.

Aayla contemplated her answer, "There were only two days I spent with her but I still learned a lot of her personality, she is very much Anakin's daughter." She came up with it finally.

"But what happened?"

"I gave her up." Aayla looked away. Guilt was mixed with her expression of melancholy and nostalgia.

"Why?" Ahsoka wondered.

"Well I couldn't go back to the order if I had a child. I mean, I was planning not to come back at all but K-" she stopped herself, "a master came and found me. He convinced me that I should come back and do what's best for myself and my daughter, so I did." She explained.

"Oh." Ahsoka replied. "Do you think you've made the right decision?"

"I guess it really was my only option. If I'd kept her I would've been a disgraced Jedi. If I stayed away or living in an intricate web of secrets and lies and they probably would've found out about her anyway, making me a disgraced Jedi all the same."

"Do you miss her?" Ahsoka hardly realised how many questions she was asking, but it all seemed necessary now she was a part of it.

Not willing to give away too much, Aayla pondered a suitable answer. The entire reason Lily had been adopted out was because Aayla was not allowed an attachment. "Not a day goes by that I don't think of her." She answered carefully. "I guess I could've grown to become attached to her…" she trailed off, this was a lie. She had missed her daughter every day since they had been apart.

Aayla had felt the bond between herself and the twins she carried since the moment she discovered her pregnancy. Every morning, the first thing she thought of was Leo, he was stillborn. Losing a child was the most horrible experience she'd ever been through, and it had broken her heart. The second thing she thought of was Lily. Aayla always wondered if she was happy, whether she was in a stable, loving family. Maybe she would discover in the years to come but as she reminisced, all she could bring herself to do was to hold Ahsoka. She put every thought, emotion, her whole life into that hug and hoped that the girl could feel the love that was meant for a different girl on planet far away from this one.

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**Okay, okay... who was suprised? Pretty much everybody I'm guessing. In light of recent events Wizzie wins the comp beacause (a) she was really close and (b) she was the only person with the guts to guess so yeah, I've already given her a hug and here's the cookie *sends*. Also, about the Xover type bit, that will not come until MUCH LATER in the story, and by much later I mean sequel much later... and that would be mostly Harry Potter, Twilight doesn't come in until *counts on fingers* 35 years after this is set... and the next section of the story will be going BACK in time to let you know what happened, how it happened, who's keeping MORE secrets and why I take so long to give you chapters.**

**And before I forget, THANKYOU JANE!!! And Wizzie, Fifi, AJ, Vic, Sophia and all my other friends who ignore me when I talk about Star Wars and aren't reading this... but especially Jane since she's the only one who can be bothered editing for me XD. Also, revan blackheart, automaticsnow, recey2010 and GaisciochDeEirinn for reviewing and the other 3 (I think) people who added me to their favourites who decided not to comment. You know who you are, you just got an email telling you to read this! LOL! But please, reviews really are love, we can't remember your names otherwise and/or thank you guys so R&R everybody. And enough rambling because it's 9.20pm and I have lots of stuff to do so 'til next time!**

**xxToylet  
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	4. Leaving

**Oh...my...god! I am soooooooo sorry, you probably thought I died or something! I can't believe I haven't uploaded since February...FEBRUARY! That was practically a million years ago. I've been sick _a lot_ so there's been a fair bit of work to catch up on limiting my writing time. I've also had a bit of writers block - which is never a good thing - because, of all the chapters I've plotted out, this one hasn't been as easy for me to visualize as the others, I wasn't really focused. Anywho, I did finish writing in... May sortof way, but, my editing is sloooooooooooow, and my usual editor, Jane, decided to ignore my emails, therefore, backup was needed. After Fifi and Wizzie parodied the story instead of editing, AJ edited and *thank god* IT'S FINISHED!**

**I'd also like to specify in the whole crossover bizzo, It's not down as a crossover because this segment of the story is 99% Star Wars; not even worth putting it down as a crossover. The Harry Potter crossover bit has already been introduced (the Twilight crossover isn't going to come in for YONKS so don't worry if you hate it, it's mainly seperate so you can skip it) but it won't be totally in-your-face type thing, once the storyline shifts away from Star Wars there is a natural end to the plotline so you can (if you reeeeeeaaaally want) ditch the story then, but the next segment of the story is almost completely plotted right now so it'll probably come out faster (plus it's based on books not movies or TV programs so the base is more detailed and much easier to figure the timeline of).**

**Eneveyz enough of my ramblings, plz 2 read.**

_Chapter 3: Leaving_

_Jedi Temple, Coruscant mid-26BBY_

Within 30 seconds of waking up, I was in my bathroom throwing up into the toilet. I felt dizzy so I lay down on the floor and hugged my knees to my chest. I found myself remembering _that night_.

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Coloured lights flashed neon patterns in every direction. Hundreds of people in a crowded room dancing and drinking, and I was one of them. I shouldn't have been there but I had to get out. Most Jedi my age were still Padawans. I needed to be around people my own age, do normal things. I felt like the Jedi found me too immature, too young, not wise enough, but I was able to pass the trials. That had to have counted for something.

A man sat down next to me, disturbing my thoughts. I studied his features. He looked familiar, but also too young to be here.

"Excuse me -" My eyes grew wide as I saw his braid, the mark of a padawan learner. He recognised me too.

"Oh… Knight Secura," he said nervously.

"Anakin Skywalker." We sat in silence for a few moments. "Does anyone know you're here?" I asked him.

"No."

"Then how about you say nothing, I say nothing, we have our night out then never mention this again."

He gave a small smile. "Yeah, my master would never have kept quiet about something like this; he would've turned me in."

"I know. The Jedi are just too strict sometimes." I agreed.

"He doesn't listen,"

"They don't respect me,"

"He thinks I'm reckless,"

"They think I'm immature,"

"He treats me like a child!" He said.

I looked at him seriously before laughing. "I know exactly what you mean."

"Here," he said, handing me a drink. "It's on me."

"Thanks." I said before draining the glass. "Do you want to dance?"

"Sure." He replied.

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I threw up again. I knew I was sick but the thought of having to go to the Jedi healers was worse. I'd just ride it out. I pulled myself off the floor, flushed the toilet, and went to make myself breakfast. The smell of eggs immediately calmed me down. I contemplated skipping my pre-mission setup with the council but I'd been stuck in the temple for over 2 months. Anything would be more exciting than being here. There wasn't any place in the galaxy I hated, except maybe Ryloth. I despised that place. I was born there, into what would've been a life of slavery if I hadn't been found by the Jedi. I felt like I owed the Jedi my devotion, my life, for giving me one in the first place.

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I woke up the next morning with an enormous headache. I tried to remember what happened the night before but it was all a blur, too much alcohol. I'd been at a club, I talked to someone, but I couldn't remember who.

I rolled over and let out a short scream. He woke up. His reaction was not dissimilar to mine.

"What the fuck am I doing here?" he asked frantically.

"And you think I know?" I snapped while grabbing my clothes. "I have a hangover the size of a Wookiee, so don't expect me to remember anytime soon."

"Did we… you know?"

I looked at him guiltily, "I think so."

"Oh no, Obi-Wan's gonna kill me!" he groaned.

"Not if he doesn't know." I said as I sent a pile of his clothes flying from the other side of the room into his face. "Now hurry up, Skywalker, or he'll kill us both."

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After that night I constantly questioned myself. If I was a good Jedi that never would have happened and now, two months later, all the consequences were catching up with me.

After my meeting with the council, I saw Master Fisto across the hall. I had noticed he wasn't at the meeting, and so had the other masters, but as this wasn't of upmost importance, they didn't bother waiting too long.

"Master Fisto!" I called out while running over, "Where were you?"

"I was visiting our newest younglings." he explained. "These tiny force-sensitives have no idea what they're in for."

"Oh, you know I still remember when I was brought in." I told him.

"So do I," He laughed, "You were tiny. How tall are you now?" he asked putting his hand on top of my head to measure me, "175cm?"

"I78." I smiled. I looked into his eyes and found it hard to believe he was so much older than I was. His youthful, energetic personality was very deceiving. I sighed and turned away, the nausea seemed to be coming back. I rubbed my temples.

"What's wrong, Aayla?" His face was pulled into a look of concern.

"I just… I don't feel very well, that's all." A gave him an unconvincing smile.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the healers?" He chuckled at my expression of disgust. "I guess not then."

"I'm fine, really. So, you were saying?"

"The younglings really are fantastic," he began as we started walking, "Maybe we'll get one as a padawan someday."

"I wonder what would happen if a Jedi had a child?" I asked absentmindedly.

He stopped abruptly just as I realised what I had said. "Aayla, it's against the code. The Jedi in question would obviously be expelled; the attachment would be too great." He looked at me gravely, "The council hasn't been put in that situation since well before I became a Jedi." He paused. "Is there a reason you're asking me this, Aayla?" He studied my face. I felt like he was staring right into my soul and suddenly felt very vulnerable standing there in front of him.

I looked down at my shoes. "No, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking; it just slipped out." I turned away and walked back to my room.

Later that night, I contemplated what had been said. I instinctively placed my hand over my stomach as thoughts began racing through my mind. Maybe I was… no, impossible… but it wasn't impossible. Only it couldn't be true. I would be kicked out of the order, an outcast, unless…

"_You idiot! Look at the situation you've gotten yourself into!"_ I yelled at myself. The worst part was that, deep down, I knew my fears were real.

I climbed into my Jedi Starfighter and disabled the communications and tracking signal. I had my few possessions packed with me. I had to leave. I couldn't go back to the Jedi order now. I decided not to tell Anakin. His future was so bright and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself knowing I'd ruined his life as well as mine. All I left was a note which I slipped under Master Fisto's door. It read:

_I am leaving the Jedi Order. I cannot tell you why but know that I would never leave without good reason. Please tell the council I have left but also tell them not to come looking for me, as I can never come back. I will never forget the friendship we shared._

_Forever Yours_

_Aayla_

A final tear escaped my eye as my ship took off. Was the life I was leaving better than the one I would gain after this? Unanswered questions buried themselves deep into my mind as I tried to concentrate on flying. When I hit hyperspace and I could no longer focus on flying, the overwhelming sadness took over my being and I realised what I had to do. I would ensure the best life for my child even if it ruined mine.

**Hokai, so, hope you enjoyed and I will start writing chapter 4 now-ish-ish-ly... I think...**

**Thankyou to AJ for editing, Wizzie and Fifi for the hilarious parody (if they upload it, I'll post the link here), Jane for reading books with stupid titles while I wrote, Victoria, Evie, Bicycle, etc. for hanging around and not doing much (but being awesome eniways) and my sister Corkzilla for actually becoming interested in my fanfiction and checking for plot holes in almost my ENTIRE story (which is xtremely looong).  
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	5. Discovered on Ryloth

**Sorry for another abnormally long wait for this chapter. Hopefully the rest will come out a bit faster.**

*****TWILIGHT IS NO MORE!!!! The Twilight part of the story just wasn't fitting well and I've decided it has to go. Therefore, if you really didn't want it, you don't have to read it anymore!*****

**Also, prologue to chapter 3 will undergoing serious revamps as the editing is not fantastic and the A/N's need to be cut down.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this, never have, never will. Plz to get over it.  
**

_Chapter 4: Discovered on Ryloth_

_Ryloth: early 25 BBY_

The knock on the door was unexpected. Aayla had no friends on Ryloth and her family did not know she was there. There was nobody who would want to see her, as she had not spoken to anybody since her arrival over five and a half standard months earlier.

The next knock was louder; whoever was there was growing impatient. She could sense that the person's intentions were not violent or malicious, but what they were, she didn't know.

She walked across the room. "Who's there?" She called.

"Aayla?" Said a deep voice.

She screwed up her face, cursing to the force that he had found her. After all the agony of leaving the Order, she should have realised that she could never truly get away.

She allowed the door to slide open a fraction, standing in complete silence as he waited for her to speak. "Why did you come here?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"I came to find you," replied the tall Jedi. He noticed her eyes were downcast; she was ashamed. The small segment of her face he could see expressed an inexplicable sadness.

"I told you not to come." Her voice was still barely audible. She gathered her courage and looked him in the eyes. "The note said not to come looking for me, Master Fisto." She knew her body was obscured by the door, but she doubted he would leave before receiving an explanation.

He sighed. "Aayla, a Jedi will always remain a Jedi unless they are seduced by the dark side. You haven't been expelled, so why did you leave?"

She tried desperately to think of a reason to make him leave, but nothing came to mind. She had left before people could discover her disgrace, to avoid the overwhelming humiliation and preserve what little dignity she had left. Now he had discovered her, and she'd have to face him and those emotions once again.

Kit had waited long enough. Since he had found the note, he had been through every possible explanation as to why she had left. Her departure had been so sudden, it didn't make sense. After nearly six months of waiting, he needed an answer. Without warning, the Jedi Master used the force to slide open the door. Aayla's reflexes were fast. She countered his movement, causing the door to slide shut, but Kit's powers were stronger than her own. Within moments the door was open and Aayla's secret was revealed.

Neither of them moved. They stood facing each other, Aayla not daring to look at him.

"Oh," he said simply, still standing outside.

"Why did you have to come?" She asked, aware he was staring at her large belly. "You can see now, why I left! I couldn't…I c…" she trailed off, biting her lip. She buried her face in her hands, trying to hide the overwhelming guilt and shame that overtook every fibre of her being.

Kit walked slowly into the small apartment. To his immediate right were a very basic kitchen and a table with two chairs. A bed was situated in the far left corner of the room, and next to it was a crib. An open door at the back of the room led to a miniscule bathroom with a thin layer dirt and mould permanently encrusted over every surface.

He sat down on one of the chairs. "Aayla, we need to discuss your options." He said.

Aayla looked up. "What options? I'm seven months pregnant." She walked over awkwardly and sat in the chair opposite him. "Do you know how hard it was for me to leave?"

"There could be another way to come back," he began.

She gave a short, sarcastic laugh. "Oh, of course. Because I haven't spent all this time thinking about every single option. You can't possibly bring me back! You said it yourself; the Jedi would be expelled."

"Aayla-"

"No! Get out!" She yelled. "I told you not to come, but did you pay any attention to anything I said? None of you do! You all think I'm just some stupid, inexperienced Padawan who doesn't have a mind of her own!" She felt herself slowly reducing to tears. No matter how hard she tried to stop the immense rollercoaster of emotions she had constantly been riding throughout her pregnancy. _No crying,_ said a voice in the back of her head. _Pull yourself together; you've got to hold on to your dignity._ Whatever small shred - if any - was left of it. She couldn't let him see her break down.

"Aayla," his voice was quiet, but firm. "We could find a way. Do you trust me?" He stood and extended his hand, offering a genuine smile.

She looked up at him. Kit could see the tears form in her eyes as she replied, equally quietly. "I don't know if I trust myself."Aayla watched his expression transform to one of deep concern. "I can't go back; there is no other option. I've made my decision, Kit. I'm staying here."

He sat again. "There is always a choice, Aayla, and only you can choose. But don't make this decision lightly; it's not only your life that is affected.

Aayla looked at her stomach, then back at the Jedi. "I had no idea," she said sarcastically. He smiled at her and she gave a small, unconvincing one back.

Aayla pulled herself up, leaning on the table for support, and made her way over to the few appliances that made up the kitchen.

"Are you hungry?" She asked.

"Only a little." He smiled in gratitude.

She proceeded with preparing the meal while neither of them spoke. They ate in silence too.

After what felt like an hour, Aayla sat on her bed. Kit stood a metre away watching her trace swirls over her stomach with her finger. She could sense his curiosity over every aspect of her situation.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" She asked playfully. Aayla was in a much better mood than before, now the initial shock had worn off.

"There seems to be a connection between you and the baby. The bond is stronger than I would've imagined."

She seemed to be pained by his words. Kit sat next to her on the bed. He reached for her hand, and this time she took it.

"This should never have happened," she told him softly.

"Sometimes, things are out of our control, and we must rely on the force to guide us through a less than ideal situation." Kit tried to explain.

"I broke the Jedi code."

"You could not have foreseen this, Aayla. Maybe it was the will of the force."

She could feel herself falling apart again. Aayla thought she had hit rock bottom when she arrived on Ryloth, but seeing him again was so much worse. She wanted to scream at him, to let him know how badly she had been wounded by him finding her. Instead, she kept silent. No matter how much she was hurting, he could never see her cry.

He looked her in the eyes and held on to her hand tightly. "You will get through this, Aayla. You're strong, and the force will help you… I will help you."

When Aayla gazed back into the eyes of the Nautolan Jedi she had known all her life, a million emotions rushed into her soul at once. She felt as if the floodgates had been opened. Every feeling she had suppressed, refused to accept, had returned. Kit's stare bore deep into her very essence and she felt the most intimate moment in her life. The bond the two shared went far beyond that of a mere friendship. It was that of two beings who had spent most of their lives denying emotion; and in feeling it for the first time, they felt whole.

****The length of a full term pregnancy in the non-Star Wars world is approx. 40 weeks (or 9 months). Using the standard times listed on Wookieepedia (5 days = 1 week; 7 weeks = 1 month; seconds, minutes, hours, days all the same length as ours) you will have noticed that I have converted times as follows.**

**Leaves 8 weeks ("real") = 1.6 months (SW)**

**Time now is 36 we****eks = 7.2 months**

**Gap time 28 weeks = 5.6 months**

**Also, if you look at the page, 1 year = 369 days… I just killed 4 of them so it fits with earth time.**

**Many thanks to thy trusty editor AJ for helping with... 'The Paragraph' *shudder*, and my sister for plot checking.**


	6. Merry Christmas

**Merry Christmas everyone!**

**I was hoping to have another chapter for you by now but I've been really busy lately and haven't had time to write. I know chapters have been coming out EXTREMELY slowly but hey, bear with me. By the end of it we'll hopefully have a good story. Anyway, I'm setting up a poll on my page and you can either vote there or leave a comment in the reviews section and let me know what you think I should do.**

_**a) Continue to upload chapters as a finish writing them - this will probably be quite slow though.**_

**or**

_**b) Put the story on hiatus for a while, finish the whole thing (or most of it) and finish redoing the earlier chapters then upload them regularly from there on - the break could last up to a year though while I get this done.**_

**If I put the story on hiatus I'll start up a mailing list or a blog or something just so you guys can know how long it's taking me to write the story. I might stick in a few sneak peeks as well but only if you're nice to me.**

**Sorry about the enormous wait but whichever is chosen, I'll try and upload a chapter in January before I go back to school. If I don't, I apologize in advance.  
**

**Have a great 2010!**

**xxToylet**

**p.s. If you hadn't figured already, I'm not dead.  
**


	7. Please don't kill me!

**Hi very small handful of people who didn't ditch me when I took a million years to update *dodges rotten fruit*. **

**Okay, so I said there'd be a chapter in January. Sorry about that, I just got really busy over the holidays and I never got around to it. Of course, at this point I thought, "Well the one year anniversary is on Feb 16 so I'll put a chapter up then." But then I realized that I've been moving my story in the wrong direction. To be able to fix this, I have to go back and start again. My plan was to have a brand new chapter 1 up here for you all (haha, most people have their fanfics finished before the one year, mine would've been on the first chapter) but then school started and I haven't had time to write.**

**I've decided that I'm just going to start all over again, I'll actually write the story first then I'll start uploading it all. I'm probably not going to upload it on this story, I'll create a new one. There's a good chance that it'll be quite different (of course the basic plot's going to stay the same) so I'm still unsure of whether I should take this one down or not. Basically if I get enough people who want it to stay, I'll leave it, if nobody wants it, I'll take it down. Just remember, I won't be adding to it if it stays up, I'll only be continuing with the new one.**

**If none of that made sense, you have questions, you'd like to suggest titles or you'd like to give me death threats, either leave a comment or PM me and I'll get back to you with the answer to why I'm such a bitch.**

**Happy first and last birthday SUCF! **

**xxToylet**

**P.S. I'll post a link to the new one up here when it's ready.  
**


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